Flowers hold an obvious place when we celebrate life’s beginnings and milestones — but also when we gather to say goodbye.
In this post, you can read about what some of the most common funeral flowers symbolize.
The Wild-Growing Language of Flowers
It was during the Victorian era that interest in the language of flowers truly blossomed in Europe. But, as often happens when something becomes fashionable, more and more books on the subject were published, and over time their interpretations of what a flower’s type, color, and number actually meant began to diverge more and more.
Depending on where you read, the symbolism may therefore vary — sometimes even meaning completely different things.
Don’t treat these interpretations as carved in stone. Instead, see them as something that can make a flower you have already chosen feel even more meaningful, or as gentle guidance when the many choices become overwhelming.
The Most Common Funeral Flowers
Here are some of the flowers most often seen at funerals, along with the meanings people throughout history have given them.
Their popularity does not mean they are the only correct choices.
But if you feel uncertain, they can serve as a comforting place to start.
Rose
We begin with the classic of classics.
The red rose has long symbolized eternal love.
In a funeral context, a darker red rose may express the deep longing felt for the deceased.
This symbolic flower exists in many colors, each carrying its own meaning:
Pink — love and appreciation, with a softer, less romantic tone
Yellow — friendship, joy, and energy
White — youth and innocence
Lily
White lilies in particular have such a strong association with grief and funerals that it took a long time before they became accepted as everyday home décor.
The white lily symbolizes purity and the restored soul. It may also serve as an expression of sympathy toward those closest to the deceased.
In Victorian flower symbolism, lilies were often connected to early death or a young life lost, making them a common presence at funerals mourning a child — symbolism that still lives on today.
Carnation
Carnations are hardy cut flowers that remain beautiful throughout the entire funeral ceremony, which can create a sense that the flower carries some of the emotional weight of the moment for those who grieve.
They also have a long tradition within mourning and funerals, and like roses, their meaning varies depending on color:
Red — admiration
Pink — remembrance of the deceased
White — innocent love
Chrysanthemum
A flower associated with death, mourning, and remembrance in many cultures around the world.
In parts of Europe and Asia, chrysanthemums are almost exclusively connected with death and memory.
This autumn flower symbolizes shared grief and longing for the departed. It is also commonly given as a gesture of appreciation to a dear friend — making it just as fitting as a final farewell.
Orchid
The elegant orchid symbolizes eternal love and a memory that lives on beyond death — a quiet “I will always love you.” It also represents reverence, admiration, and respect for the deceased, as well as compassion and comfort for the bereaved.
The orchid’s ability to thrive in many environments can serve as a gentle reminder that we are capable of enduring more than we might believe when grief feels heaviest.
Gladiolus
Growing tall and upright, the gladiolus reflects its symbolic meanings: strength of character, sincerity, honor, and moral integrity.
In floral arrangements, gladiolus flowers symbolize honoring the life, actions, and inspiring personality of the deceased.
Tulip
Like spring itself, tulips remind us of renewal, hope, and the promise of brighter days ahead.
These flowers exist in countless colors and can soften the gravity of the moment with their message of hope — without attempting to push grief aside. They simply remind us that the pain will not always feel this sharp.
Flowers Speak Every Language
If the deceased — or you — wish to use flowers that do not carry the “right” symbolic meaning, do it anyway. Do not let invented symbolism from old, dusty books stand in the way of how you want to decorate, honor, or express your grief.
This post — like other lists of common funeral flowers — is not a rulebook, only a gentle guide when the many options feel overwhelming.
There are very few flowers that are truly unsuitable for a funeral. The main exceptions might be flowers known for having an unpleasant scent. In other words, it is difficult to make a wrong choice.
And if a self-appointed flower language police officer should appear to comment on your floral choices, I recommend developing selective hearing and focusing instead on what truly matters in that moment: remembering the person who has died and saying your own goodbye.
I find it fascinating how we humans turn to the beauty of nature to express emotions that are difficult to put into words.
Perhaps the flowers we choose say as much about how we lived as about how we are remembered.
Sometimes it is not only images that speak louder than words.
If you would like to read more about the symbolism of colors in death, grief, and funerary traditions around the world, you can find a post about it HERE.
Have you ever thought about which flowers you would want at your own funeral?
A short story with Quinley & Herrow
Who are Quinley and Herrow?
In Coffinfolk Café’s stand alone short stories, you’ll meet two most unlikely friends:
Quinley – Coffinfolk’s café host. A young woman who loves life just as much as she loves exploring the cultural heritage of death and sharing advice, information, and insights that can help people – whether they are facing their own encounter with Death or living with grief.
Herrow – Death himself. He may look frightening in his black cloak, but beneath the bones is a kind soul who enjoys a cup of coffee and sharing experiences gathered from every corner of time.
You can find a longer introduction + a short story about their first meeting HERE
“Floral Whispers”
Narrated by Quinley
Florist Pernilla — better known by her nickname Poppy — leaned back in her chair with a sigh of relief.
“You’re my lifesavers.” She glanced around the café and took a sip from her coffee. “I suppose this isn’t the first time people have left here feeling lighter than when they arrived.”
“That probably depends on how many muffins they eat…” I giggled, carefully taking apart the floral arrangement resting on the table.
Harley arrived carrying a tray with the small vases we usually kept on display.
“We should be the ones thanking you, Poppy. We needed new flowers anyway. Having them delivered was an added bonus.”
“I knew the client would change their mind at the last minute.” Poppy rested her head in her hand. “Planning a funeral is never easy. When the family members all have completely different visions of what the farewell should look like… it doesn’t make things easier for anyone.”
Harley and I exchanged sympathetic glances. We all felt for the poor family — everyone wanting to give the deceased a worthy goodbye, yet unable to agree on how.
Out of habit, Poppy began helping me prepare small bouquets for the vases.
“It would feel wrong to sell this wreath for someone else’s funeral, or reuse the flowers in another arrangement. It’s like a wedding — such a deeply personal moment. The flowers tell the story of the person, not just the occasion itself.” The florist twirled a white lily between her fingers. “Here, at least, they’ll be appreciated by those who need them.” With a gentle smile, she slipped the lily into a vase.
As if on cue, an elderly couple entered through the door.
“Oh, look at these!” the woman exclaimed, walking straight toward our table. “My sister loved these.” She picked up a pink carnation and inhaled deeply. “The scent always reminds me of her.”
Poppy placed a hand over her heart.
“Perhaps the day was meant to begin a little crooked after all.”
When Harley followed the couple to arrange their order, Poppy leaned closer across the table.
“I have to ask,” she said, glancing around before continuing. “Is him here? Herrow?”
I glanced at the Grim Reaper sitting quietly beside me. Poppy had never thought I was mad when I told her about Herrow, but she didn’t seem quite ready to see him herself yet.
“Always,” I replied with a smile. “At least as long as the coffee machine keeps working.”
A gentle nudge in my side from a bony elbow made me giggle.
“Does he think I’m doing a good job?” Poppy wrapped her hands around her coffee cup as she waited. “I love creating something beautiful for important moments in people’s lives — the joyful ones and the sorrowful ones — but… sometimes I don’t know what else to say besides I’m sorry for your loss.”
Herrow leaned closer and whispered into my ear. His familiar scent of juniper and lilac mingled with the fragrance of fresh flowers spread across the table.
I reached out and placed my hand over Poppy’s.
“He says you do your best, and that is more than enough. Your flowers say more than you realize.” Poppy looked down at the cut flowers, then back at me with wide eyes as I continued translating Herrow’s whispers. “You help people create something personal without restrictions. Whatever the language of flowers may claim — your bouquets always speak of love.”